Help Us JJ Abrams... You're Our Only Hope

WARNING!

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR

STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

PLEASE SCROLL PAST THE SPOILER HOOJIBS TO READ MORE...

At the time of writing I've only seen The Last Jedi once, albeit at a midnight showing on release day to try and prove something about my fan credentials.

Seeing the reaction to it, however, has really made me question whether I want to be included under that "fan" banner any more.

You see, internet snowflakes, trolls and troglodytes are calling for the head of anyone involved. There was even a petition online pleading with Disney to wipe the whole thing from canon and delay filming of Episode IX in order to remake The Last Jedi... a petition which the originator claimed he regretted, yet was somehow not withdrawn until after it had amassed 45000 signatures in very quick time.

First, let's get one thing straight... Rian Johnson didn't ruin the Star Wars saga. George Lucas has been slowly drip feeding us that poison for over twenty years. It started with comedy Jawas on a Ronto, continued with Greedo shooting first, carried on with the CGI Jabba...

Actually, let me just list some of the things that George Lucas did to piss off his fans of four decades, long before Disney and Rian Johnson came along...

1. Life Day
2. Caravan of Courage
3. Comedy Jawas on a Ronto
4. Greedo shooting first
5. Han stepping on Jabba's tail
6. Jedi Rocks superseding Lapti Nek
7. Turning the Sarlacc into something more like a Vervoid
8. Losing the Yub Nub song
9. Taxation of trade routes... the greedy Trade Federation... endlessly debates... zzzz
10. Jar Jar Binks
11. Yippee!
12. Hayden Christensen
13. Sand
14. Hayden Christensen
15. Hayden Christensen
16. Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
17. Noooooooooooooooooooooo! (The Reprise)
18. Disrespecting Sebastian Shaw (AKA Hayden Christensen)
19. "Weesa free!"
20. Hayden Christensen

Anyway, my point being that there are certain factions at Lucasfilm who have been actively disappointing fans for literally decades. These Last Jedi naysayers are mere amateurs, Johnnies-come-lately, with no idea of how to really feel the gut-punch of disillusionment.

And, really, compared to introducing the Gungan race, just what is it that Rian Johnson has done that is so bad anyway?

For the record, here's what I took from The Last Jedi...

Remember the vague prophecy (from as far back as Episode I) which talks about the Balance of the Force. Now call me naïve, but I've always felt, since the end of Return of the Jedi, that destroying the Sith, leaving only one all powerful Jedi Master didn't exactly bring balance to the Force. I actually believe that maybe the Sith actually had it right all along with the Rule Of Two... only they had twisted it to their own vision.

Maybe what the Force needs is equilibrium between the light and the dark, an extra-galactic Yin and Yang if you like. This is not a new idea to any true fan of Star Wars, having been explored before in both The Clone Wars (the "Mortis" arc) and Rebels with the introduction of Bendu.

So, considering a large part of the backlash against The Last Jedi was down to this allegedly "new" approach to the Force, I can only ask if these people actually know their Star Wars canon.

There was also some consternation over how Luke Skywalker was portrayed and that, instead of surrounding himself with floating rocks and communing with the Force in some Jedi version of Tai Chi, wielding his green lightsaber against 29 practice war droids while slowly moving the planet of Atch-To out of its orbit and towards the Galactic Centre to single-handedly destroy the First Order, he'd been terrified by the effects of the Force and rejected its power.

Well, of course he did! A simple farm boy, who'd never even heard of the Force as a kid, who went on to have about 40 minutes of training from two geriatrics, one of whom didn't even want to teach him, being the only apparent Force user in the Galaxy and all the energy and responsibility that that engendered?

I'm surprised going into exile was all he did.

Many "fans" were also complaining about how many women there were. I'll give that angle the respect it deserves.

By not even discussing it.

I have to say that I do have a couple of niggles with the film, but these are mainly criticisms with specific decisions in the narrative.

I do have to wonder what Rian Johnson was thinking by introducing a new character, that we didn't know and had little time to get to know, much less care about, who then went on to have a supposedly emotional sacrificial death scene when we had a perfectly good, and well-loved existing character who would have worked far better in that role.

That is, of course, Admiral Ackbar who was despatched with an ignominious off-screen death that was barely given any lip-service. To me that was far more upsetting and would have made for a far better sacrifice

And secondly, after Paige Tico died in the opening space battle clutching her necklace, we then met Rose, who also had the same necklace. I have to admit my first reaction was one of quiet delight. Had they actually managed to sneak in a same sex relationship without us knowing?

Of course not. Turns out Rose was her sister. But what an amazingly missed opportunity that was. Even worse, she falls for Finn. Because, of course, Rey has to have that moment when she realises that her current life plans are going to leave her an old, regretful, spinster just as happened with Obi-Wan and Satine... yes, I invoked The Clone Wars again.

But couldn't Rey have discovered that Poe was her rival in love? As I said... missed opportunity. Also would have been fun to see the online apoplexy.

So now, apart from what I assume will be major changes to Han's backstory, we just have to wait for Episode IX and find out where JJ Abrams will take us next.

Will we learn anything more about Snoke? Rey's parentage? Broom Boy? Will Luke come back "more powerful than you can possibly imagine?"

I don't know. I can imagine quite a bit...