None taken...
I was quite surprised when
the Channel 5 continuity announcer warned us, ahead of Will & Grace last
Friday night, that the programme contained "offensive language". Will & Grace isn't
exactly known for its coarse language. Mildly objectionable stereotypes on
occasion, but nothing offensive.
I watched the whole episode with an ear turned for anything that might make a censor blush, but to no avail.
As it so happened, my husband missed the episode so I was obliged to watch it again the next day. On a second viewing... still nothing, nada, zilch.
Apart from one possibility.
At one point a guest character uses the phrase "Cheers, queers". In context, it is a totally benign usage of the word; indeed the character himself lampshades it by pointing out that it's said with appropriate "tone and intent". Within the narrative he means it without malice, even humorously, a symbol of, perhaps grudging, acceptance. In real life terms, it's an amusing line, acknowledging that we are in a changing society where people are trying to adapt to the new societal norms.
Was this what the announcer was referring to? I have to think that it was. There is nothing else in the episode which even comes close.
But I do not find the term "queer" offensive. And nor do a lot of other people. Yes, it can be used offensively but then so can many other words relating to differing sexualities, genders and race. Within the gay community - and well beyond, which can certainly encompass certain straight friends - the word "queer" can be, and is, used humorously as an amiable insult. Indeed, it is being used more and more as people try to "reclaim" it, or use it instead of the more and more unwieldy LGBTQWERTYUIOP, which is, frankly, far more offensive as a way for straights to pigeonhole yet more people who don't fit their societal heteronormative "ideal".
Call it what you like, but it is not, in the correct context, offensive. Not to me...
And - to me and many others - that is the offensive factor.
Because who the hell are you to decree what we do, and do not, find offensive? Of course, some things are - and should be - universally offensive. Misogyny, homophobia, racism...
But don't, as a presumably straight person who's never been on the end of a homophobic assault, turn round and tell me, a gay man who uses the term "queer" willingly and with pride, that I should find it offensive because you do. It is not even yours to take offence at.
I am finding it more and more prevalent that there is a section of society who dictate how we should be offended.
Take Friends. As a lot of people have recently discovered, thanks to its finding its way onto Netflix, the show is full of casual homophobia. This is nothing new to anyone who has previously watched it. From the derogatory insinuations about Chandler's sexuality to the stereotypes of trans characters as portrayed, there's probably not a single episode where you couldn't pull the writers up on something problematic in their representation of queer culture.
But these were the prevailing attitudes of the nineties, whether you like it or not.
Yes, I'd be shocked if a programme put forward these ideas today in 2018, but we should not - cannot - sweep them under the carpet just because older opinions upset our sensibilities.
What, do you want us to pretend that these sort of attitudes didn't happen? To pretend that they aren't still happening now? Because that's how things get forgotten and we end up back at square one.
Instead of seeing it through millennial eyes and being offended by it, let's celebrate what it did try to do.
Yes, for every sympathetic representation of Carol and Susan, there's a line about Joey lusting after Emma's lesbian nanny. For every suggestion that Phoebe is bi, there's an implication that Ross believes that anything less than 100% masculine equates with being gay.
But it also gave us one of the first lesbian couples on American prime time television, not to mention their wedding. And, while there's no denying that it was done ham-fistedly, seemingly unable to distinguish between gay and trans and then miscasting Kathleen Turner to boot, Chandler's father surely raised more awareness of trans people, in a time when representation was pretty much nil. And a lot of the humour surrounding the aforementioned casual homophobia firmly placed the perpetrators on the wrong side of the joke. If you can get through The One With The Male Nanny and not think Ross is a dick, then you really should check your own values.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be offended. I'm not even saying that that you shouldn't be offended by Friends. But remember that offence is taken, not given, so please don't take offence on behalf of others or, worse, tell others how they should be offended.
Because that is offensive.
I watched the whole episode with an ear turned for anything that might make a censor blush, but to no avail.
As it so happened, my husband missed the episode so I was obliged to watch it again the next day. On a second viewing... still nothing, nada, zilch.
Apart from one possibility.
At one point a guest character uses the phrase "Cheers, queers". In context, it is a totally benign usage of the word; indeed the character himself lampshades it by pointing out that it's said with appropriate "tone and intent". Within the narrative he means it without malice, even humorously, a symbol of, perhaps grudging, acceptance. In real life terms, it's an amusing line, acknowledging that we are in a changing society where people are trying to adapt to the new societal norms.
Was this what the announcer was referring to? I have to think that it was. There is nothing else in the episode which even comes close.
But I do not find the term "queer" offensive. And nor do a lot of other people. Yes, it can be used offensively but then so can many other words relating to differing sexualities, genders and race. Within the gay community - and well beyond, which can certainly encompass certain straight friends - the word "queer" can be, and is, used humorously as an amiable insult. Indeed, it is being used more and more as people try to "reclaim" it, or use it instead of the more and more unwieldy LGBTQWERTYUIOP, which is, frankly, far more offensive as a way for straights to pigeonhole yet more people who don't fit their societal heteronormative "ideal".
Call it what you like, but it is not, in the correct context, offensive. Not to me...
And - to me and many others - that is the offensive factor.
Because who the hell are you to decree what we do, and do not, find offensive? Of course, some things are - and should be - universally offensive. Misogyny, homophobia, racism...
But don't, as a presumably straight person who's never been on the end of a homophobic assault, turn round and tell me, a gay man who uses the term "queer" willingly and with pride, that I should find it offensive because you do. It is not even yours to take offence at.
I am finding it more and more prevalent that there is a section of society who dictate how we should be offended.
Take Friends. As a lot of people have recently discovered, thanks to its finding its way onto Netflix, the show is full of casual homophobia. This is nothing new to anyone who has previously watched it. From the derogatory insinuations about Chandler's sexuality to the stereotypes of trans characters as portrayed, there's probably not a single episode where you couldn't pull the writers up on something problematic in their representation of queer culture.
But these were the prevailing attitudes of the nineties, whether you like it or not.
Yes, I'd be shocked if a programme put forward these ideas today in 2018, but we should not - cannot - sweep them under the carpet just because older opinions upset our sensibilities.
What, do you want us to pretend that these sort of attitudes didn't happen? To pretend that they aren't still happening now? Because that's how things get forgotten and we end up back at square one.
Instead of seeing it through millennial eyes and being offended by it, let's celebrate what it did try to do.
Yes, for every sympathetic representation of Carol and Susan, there's a line about Joey lusting after Emma's lesbian nanny. For every suggestion that Phoebe is bi, there's an implication that Ross believes that anything less than 100% masculine equates with being gay.
But it also gave us one of the first lesbian couples on American prime time television, not to mention their wedding. And, while there's no denying that it was done ham-fistedly, seemingly unable to distinguish between gay and trans and then miscasting Kathleen Turner to boot, Chandler's father surely raised more awareness of trans people, in a time when representation was pretty much nil. And a lot of the humour surrounding the aforementioned casual homophobia firmly placed the perpetrators on the wrong side of the joke. If you can get through The One With The Male Nanny and not think Ross is a dick, then you really should check your own values.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be offended. I'm not even saying that that you shouldn't be offended by Friends. But remember that offence is taken, not given, so please don't take offence on behalf of others or, worse, tell others how they should be offended.
Because that is offensive.
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